arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
