I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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