Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
