If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
