i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
