You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
