you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
