using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
that is very illegal...i love you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
