Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
