Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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