Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
