i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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