The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
