her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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