omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
