quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
