The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
