4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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