I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
