Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
