That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
