Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize