Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
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im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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