I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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