Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize