so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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