Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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