Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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