Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
