my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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