he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
