Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.