he shaved USA in his pubs
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize