They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
