Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.

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  (905): just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped. http://tfl.nu/8nmk
  Replies (35) Good night (1047) Bad night (10223)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

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  (819): its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger http://tfl.nu/0bs6
  Replies (10) Good night (3827) Bad night (813)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college

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  (314): just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college http://tfl.nu/eu7q
  Replies (60) Good night (11085) Bad night (762)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?

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  (703): just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life? http://tfl.nu/fbf0
  Replies (43) Good night (4115) Bad night (1602)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you

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  (517): Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you http://tfl.nu/77p0
  Replies (22) Good night (5317) Bad night (654)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.

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  (585): Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either. http://tfl.nu/3i4x
  Replies (12) Good night (7830) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.

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  (808): I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils. http://tfl.nu/b8ey
  Replies (10) Good night (1371) Bad night (3690)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.

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  (908): Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him. http://tfl.nu/w434
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (2235)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?

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  (605): They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now? http://tfl.nu/s9tm
  Replies (11) Good night (4061) Bad night (863)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.

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  (563): last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers. http://tfl.nu/6ciq
  Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.

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  (715): I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT. http://tfl.nu/2ujd
  Replies (27) Good night (3392) Bad night (653)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Shame tastes like burnetts and latex

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  (616): Shame tastes like burnetts and latex http://tfl.nu/ptq8
  Replies (7) Good night (906) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.

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  (405): It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls. http://tfl.nu/gobu
  Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (1749)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how

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  (610): How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how http://tfl.nu/j1wy
  Replies (4) Good night (913) Bad night (340)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program

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  (780): I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program http://tfl.nu/uwem
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (168)

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