Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.