I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?