Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
