Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.

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  (734): I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage. http://tfl.nu/zca3
  Replies (14) Good night (688) Bad night (1846)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I've blown a few things in my day

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  (607): I've blown a few things in my day http://tfl.nu/5p5t
  Replies (9) Good night (2821) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.

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  (518): I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room. http://tfl.nu/qe4u
  Replies (22) Good night (6595) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

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  (613): I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy. http://tfl.nu/5u2t
  Replies (79) Good night (9507) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.

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  (570): Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break. http://tfl.nu/c9vz
  Replies (34) Good night (5008) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.

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  (412): I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door. http://tfl.nu/f9if
  Replies (9) Good night (4369) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son

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  (425): This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son http://tfl.nu/qxal
  Replies (7) Good night (928) Bad night (2769)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The pine trees are waving at me.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Put the pipe down honey.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hi trees.

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  (253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23
  Replies (17) Good night (8141) Bad night (1669)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.

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  (330): Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high. http://tfl.nu/m92h
  Replies (8) Good night (3148) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?

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  (814): Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects? http://tfl.nu/389h
  Replies (35) Good night (2310) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.

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  (517): Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B. http://tfl.nu/djpk
  Replies (12) Good night (2628) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant

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  (407): It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant http://tfl.nu/td2c
  Replies (9) Good night (359) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger

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  (913): My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger http://tfl.nu/nsuk
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.

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  (210): I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob. http://tfl.nu/g13n
  Replies (7) Good night (934) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?

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  (406): were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong? http://tfl.nu/plyg
  Replies (17) Good night (317) Bad night (933)

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