He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
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It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.