Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.

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(516): View more from New York

How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"

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(509): View more from Washington

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Becoming a productive member of society?

(509): View more from Washington

Sam. Come on.

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(906): View more from Michigan

nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(219): View more from Indiana

I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this

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(778): View more from British Columbia

i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'

(406): View more from Montana

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU

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(928): View more from Arizona

Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.

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