i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize