i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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