oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
