So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
