she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Is it because I queefed?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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