My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
