I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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