did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
