they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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