I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
