it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
