You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
