If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
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I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.