do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
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If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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