Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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