he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
