He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
we should paint friendship bongs
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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