He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
