Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
