no, he came in my armpit
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My vagina is officially offended.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
