grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
