bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
there is glitter all over my balls
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