He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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