Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
