I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish i was in the wii world.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
