I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
