sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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